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WHO Strongly Cautions Against Human Centipedes of More Than 7 People

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND -- The World Health Organization issued an urgent advisory to all human beings on planet Earth, pleading with them to consider limiting all human centipedes to seven people at a maximum. The WHO's new announcement comes as...

CDC Reminder: Also Sanitize Your Butt Plugs When There’s No Pandemic

ATLANTA, GEORGIA --Authorities at the Centers for Disease Control have issued a new statement to Americans, urging them to sanitize their butt plugs to help reduce the risk of coronavirus infection, however the CDC also reiterated their advice that...
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Musk Unsure Whether to Skip Child Support or Twitter Loan Payment This Month

Recently, billionaire hair plug recipient Elon Musk revealed that he believes Twitter has lost about half its value since...
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