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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
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U.S. Politics

Paul Ryan Worried He’ll Never Get Laid Again Once He Quits Congress

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-Randian Dystopia) announced...
U.S. Politics

Trey Gowdy Informed He’ll Have To Pay For His Own Fishing Expeditions After Leaving Congress

Bummer, Trey! That's a real bummer, man.
MAGA News

Paul Ryan Looks Forward To Life As Private Sector Misanthrope

"People always think I just want to gut Social Security and end Medicare, and that's utterly and completely false."
MAGA News

Jeff Sessions ‘Can’t Remember’ If He ‘Lied About Forgetting’ Or If He ‘Forgot About Lying’

"I simply can't remember if I lied about forgetting contacts with Russia, or if I forgot that I lied, okay?"
Women's Rights

Woman Relieved Congress Wants to Control Her Vagina So She Can Focus On Earning Almost As Much As Male Colleagues

With a 20-week abortion ban passed through the House, one woman has found a silver lining in losing direct control of her vagina.
MAGA News

Soldier In Afghanistan is ‘Completely Reassured’ Having D-List Reality TV Star Commanding Her

Stationed in Afghanistan, this soldier has the utmost confidence in President Donald Trump to guide the army to victory...or something.
Science & Medicine

Doctors: John McCain’s Brain Tumor Closely Connected to His Heart, Soul, Humanity

Senator John McCain received a heroes welcome before casting a deciding vote on the healthcare debate.
Pew Pew!

Wayne LaPierre Makes Impassioned Plea For Congress to Pretend Friends and Colleagues Were First Graders

NRA Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre wants members of Congress to pretend their friends and colleagues were just innocent first graders.
MAGA News

MIT Releases Trump Tweet Prediction Algorithm Ahead of Comey Testimony

Researchers at MIT have developed an algorithm they say has correctly predicted what President Trump will tweet during James Comey's upcoming testimony.
MAGA News

John Boehner Blasts Trump for Turning His ‘Shit Show’ of a Party Into a ‘Clusterfuck’

Former Speaker of the House John Boehner doesn't think that the Trump administration has been doing much of anything right since January.
Business

Krispy Kreme Signs Deal To Be Trey Gowdy’s Official Congressional Glazing Sponsor

Trey Gowdy sweats. Profusely. One doughnut retailers doesn't see disgustingness in his glazed face though; they see marketing opportunities.
MAGA News

President Trump Releases List of Things He’d Do Differently During Government Shutdown

He may not have any idea how to govern, but Donald Trump certainly knows what he'd do during a government shutdown.
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Latest articles

Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

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