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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
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Did an Antifa Agent Cough on Trump’s Debate Microphone?

How did President Donald Trump contract COVID-19? Will the world ever know? Clearly, the...

Trump Demands to Know Which Asshole Botched Covid So Bad He Got It

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States and his wife Melania have...

Biden Will Ask Trump to Be Fitted With Sweat-Activated Muzzle Prior to Next Debate

CLEVELAND, OHIO -- Last night's presidential debate between former Vice President Joe Biden and...

Eric Finds Daddy’s Next Tax Payment in White House Sofa Cushions

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- "Daddy! Daddy! Come quick! I just found a butt load of...

Why Won’t Joe Biden Agree to a Full Body Cavity Search Before Tonight’s Debate?

What's Joe Biden hiding? Why won't he acquiesce to any of Dear President's demands...

Biden Thanks Orange Garbage Bag Full of Molten, Diarrhea for Preparing Him to Debate Trump

CLEVELAND, OHIO -- Tonight, after months of anticipation, the first presidential debate of the...

Biden: “I Know Watching People Piss Might Be His Thing, But I Won’t Be Taking Trump’s Drug Test”

DELAWARE -- President Donald Trump really, really, really wants former Vice President Joe Biden to take...

Barrett Promises to Leave Her Religion Out of Legal Opinions as Long as God and Her Husband Say She Can

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The nation's capital is dug in for one hell of a...

In 2017, Trump Spent $750 in Taxes, and $750,000 in Big Macs

This weekend, The Failing Any Minute Now, We Promise, They Really ARE Failing New York...

Trump Issues The Constipation Proclamation

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 1862, as the country fought in pitched battle during the...

President Trump Promises Peaceful Transfer of Power to John Barron, David Dennison, or Bobby Putin

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump caused quite a commotion when he refused...

Louisville DA: “Black Lives Matter, But Drywall Matters Enough to Charge Someone”

LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY -- A night of civil unrest in Louisville unfolded yesterday after it...

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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...