Nation Devastated to Find Out McConnell Will Probably Recover From Fall

Over the weekend, news broke that Senate Majority Leader and Satan's Best Friend Mitch McConnell fell and injured himself. Reportedly, Senator McConnell fell in his home sometime this weekend. McConnell suffered a fractured shoulder after the fall. "Luckily, Leader McConnell...

Economists Predict Medicare For All Could Be Funded For 400 Years By Charging $1 To Punch Mitch McConnell In the Face

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A nonpartisan coalition of economists has published the findings of an intensive report they conducted, and have concluded that the United States could "pretty easily" fund a universal healthcare program for 400 years just by charging...
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Who Got Paid More to Suck Trump’s Dick: Stormy or Jim Jordan?

As far as the world can tell, there are two people who we can reliably assume have sucked Donald...
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