Climate Change

Pat Robertson: God Will Warm Texas If He Stops Watching “Magic Mike” for Research Purposes Twelve Times a Week

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Living fossil and televangelist Pat Robertson often speaks to God about what's going in the United States. In particular, Robertson will dialogue with God about natural disasters and weather phenomenon. Usually, God tells Robertson exactly...

Cold Texas Temperatures Signal It’s Time for Dodos to Fly South to Cancun

https://youtu.be/0EMaY4zQXEc As it gets colder in the Lone Star State, its dodo population starts to migrate south to Cancun. It's a phenomenon that has only very recently been noticed by zoologists. We recently spoke to one of the country's leading biologists...

Manchin: “If Rubbing Coal on My Balls Isn’t Doing Enough for Climate Change, That’s On You”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After a defeat for his party in Virginia, and with another potential loss still in the offing over in New Jersey, alleged Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin is still not committed to passing more of President Joe...

Pat Robertson Blames ‘Hot Men Doing Sexy Times on Each Other’s Fannies’ for California Wildfires

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has been watching the developments in California this week quite closely, however it's not the potential recall of Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) that has him so rapt. Instead, it's the multiple, serious,...

Gohmert Asks If Earth’s Orbit Can Be Changed If He Gets Out and Pushes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the course of his congressional career, Rep. Louie Gohmert (Q-TX) has been no stranger to his antics going viral. This week, yet another clip of the Texas Republican has been blowing up, this time because...

Greene Accuses Biden of ‘Wanting to Force You to Eat Plant-Based Bread’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Conservatives all over America are already extremely paranoid about, and skeptical of, The Green New Deal. A new line of attack aimed at the progressive approach to environmental policies co-authored by Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) and...

Trump Promises Entire Capital Will Be Converted To Renewable White Power

President-Elect Trump's plan to tackle climate change includes a return to using renewable white power in the nation's capital.

Trump Worried Too Many Solar Panels Means Humans Might ‘Suck Up All the Sunlight’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Presdident Donald Trump today told reporters that "one bigly reason" he supports the push for the return to coal as opposed to renewable energy solutions like solar is that the production and implementation of "too many"...

Local Knuckle Dragging Moron Mocks Girl Ten Times Smarter and Accomplished Than He’ll Ever Be

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins defended President Trump today from criticisms that he was unpresidential by mocking or "trolling" young climate activist Greta Thunberg. On Twitter, Mr. Trump made fun of Thunberg, who...

6 Signs You Have Windmill Cancer

Windmill cancer, or wind cancer as it's also referred to, is a very real, very serious, very deadly disease. Caused by the noise from wind turbines producing so-called "clean" or "renewable" energy, windmill cancer is so serious a threat...
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How didĀ thisĀ end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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