Citizens United

MAGA News

Neil Gorsuch Promises To Interpret The Constitution ‘Fairly, For Corporate Citizens, Big and Small’

James Schlarmann -
Newly minted Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch told reporters he's going to interpret laws in ways the look out for big and little corporate guys.
MAGA News

American Satirist Sad ‘Massive Shit Show of an Election’ Only Has 6 Months Left

James Schlarmann -
What a FUN election this has been!
Economy

Oil Tycoon Explains Why The Rich Can’t Afford More Taxes But Can Give Billions to Campaigns

James Schlarmann -
A different view of campaign finance issues from a wealthy oil tycoon.
U.S. Politics

J. Hubert Christ: Heaven’s Email System Downed By Flood of Prayers for Bernie Sanders Victory

James Schlarmann -
Jesus Christ says all the prayers about Bernie Sanders' campaign have broken his company's electronic prayer request system.
U.S. Politics

Reince Priebus: GOP Hired Engineers To Fit All 180 Candidates on Debate Stage

James Schlarmann -
RNC Chairman Reince Priebus says his party's re-engineered stage will fit all the myriad candidates for president they currently have.
U.S. Politics

Sarah Palin: ‘The Time Is Right, and Americans Are Just Dumb Enough to Elect Me!’

James Schlarmann -
Sarah Palin gave a speech recently. She believes Americans are dumb enough to vote for her, and gave several reasons why.
U.S. Politics

Sen Ted Cruz: ‘Whether I Win or Not, My Bank Accounts Will’

James Schlarmann -
At the first campaign stop of his 2016 presidential bid, Sen. Ted Cruz told reporters why he doesn't care if he wins or loses.
Money in Politics

Koch Industries- ‘We’re Just Looking For the Best Government Money Can Buy’

James Schlarmann -
Money can't buy you everything; unless you're a Koch. Then, it pretty much can.
LGTBQ+

SCALIA: As Long as Gay People Are Corporations, They Can Get Married

James Schlarmann -
The Supreme Court is going to decide on gay marriage this summer, and Justice Antonin Scalia may have possibly perhaps tipped his hand.
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Latest News

Criminal JusticeJames Schlarmann -

Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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(All Content is Satirical)