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Centers for Disease Control
Centers for Disease Control
Women's Rights
The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus
"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
April 12, 2024
Criminal Justice
Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes
"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
April 10, 2024
Science & Medicine
She Just Got Her GED, But She Knows Fauci Doesn’t Know What He’s Talking About
"I wear this 45 hat everywhere I go for two reasons -- loyalty to Trump and to remind people that your IQ doesn't define how intelligent you am." - Rep. Lauren Boebert (Q-CO)
April 19, 2021
Science & Medicine
CDC Warns Libertarians: There Is No Nerd Immunity from COVID-19
ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control has issued an urgent warning to...
July 14, 2020
Science & Medicine
CDC Says to Stop Licking Surfaces Clean Like Cats
ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Doctors at the Centers for Disease Control are strongly urging everyone...
March 30, 2020
MAGA News
CDC Suggests ‘Electoral Distancing’ From Trump Administration
ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Over the past week and a half, Americans were introduced to...
March 20, 2020
Science & Medicine
CDC Reminder: Also Sanitize Your Butt Plugs When There’s No Pandemic
ATLANTA, GEORGIA --Authorities at the Centers for Disease Control have issued a new statement...
March 19, 2020
MAGA News
CDC Wants Trump Supporters to Stop Sharing Hoods
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In what has been one of the busiest and most critical...
March 16, 2020
Science & Medicine
CDC Suggests Couples Start Using “Just the Tip”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In order to help minimize the spread of the novel coronavirus,...
March 16, 2020
Science & Medicine
CDC Recommends Washing Hands For At Least As Long As It Takes For You To Masturbate
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Centers for Disease Control have issued a fresh new set...
March 15, 2020
MAGA News
CDC Recommends Americans Quarantine Themselves From President Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Centers for Disease Control issued new guidance this morning, urging...
March 11, 2020
Science & Medicine
CDC Issues Guidelines for Safe Handjobs During Coronavirus Outbreak
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Centers for Disease Control issued a new set of guidelines...
March 5, 2020
Science & Medicine
CDC Adds “Giant Orange Douchebag,” “GFY,” and “No” To Their Official Lexicon
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, word broke that the Health and Human Services department...
December 17, 2017
Latest articles
Women's Rights
The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus
"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
April 12, 2024
Criminal Justice
Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes
"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
April 10, 2024
Lifestyle
Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More
The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...
April 4, 2024
MAGA News
The Easter Bunny Plans to Give Plan-B and Contraceptives to Red State Teenagers
"Did you know there have already been thousands of rape pregnancies as a result...
March 29, 2024
