cats

CDC Says to Stop Licking Surfaces Clean Like Cats

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Doctors at the Centers for Disease Control are strongly urging everyone to resist the urge to use their own tongues like cats to clean surfaces in their homes, while they're on lockdown during the global COVID-19...

12 Pictures of Kittens So Cute You’ll Want to Punch a Nun

Around this office, we're big fans of cute little kittens. You could say we find kittens to be just MEOW-velous creatures, and we'd forgive that horrible, horrible fucking pun because that's how much we just simply adore little kittens....

Woman Doesn’t Think Her Cat Cares That She Was Diagnosed With Coronavirus

FELIX HILLS, MINNESOTA -- A woman and her cat are currently "not really on speaking terms" after the two had a falling out regarding a coronavirus diagnosis. 55 year old Susan Garfield says her cat, Sir Furball McFluffykins, are...

Local Feline Entering Rehab After Catnip Fueled $4000 Amazon Shopping Spree

WHISKERS FLATS, IDAHO -- An eight year old house cat in the United States recently entered a drug rehab treatment facility after it admitted to its human companion that it stole their credit card and spent over $4,000 on...

7 Signs Your Cat Wants to Get Baked and Watch “Queer Eye” With You

For years, zoologists and veterinarians have known but not understood a curious fact about common domesticated house cats. That fact is: They love to get high and watch episodes of "Queer Eye" on Netflix. The fact that cats like...
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President Brandon Promises to Go Visit Trump in Jail

Yesterday, history was made when the New York City District Attorney filed 34 indictments against former President Donald John...
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