Officials Fear Major Canadian Comedian Import Deficit If Northern Border Remains Closed

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- If the border between the United States and Canada remains closed for too long, officials fear there could be a major deficit in the importation of comedians from the north. This deficit could absolutely cripple the...

For Some Unknown Reason, This Canadian Immigrant Hasn’t Felt Threatened by Any of Trump’s Rhetoric

RIO DE LA GUEROS, CALIFORNIA -- Technically, 35 year old Susan Reedy is an illegal immigrant, residing in a sleepy, coastal California town. Susan came here about 17 years ago as a student, and she overstayed her visa. She's...

Trump Tweets That The ‘Maple Mexican Attack On Our Economy From the North’ Must Be Stopped

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump amplified his heated rhetoric toward Canada with a tweet from the Commander in Chief this morning warning of an "attack on our economy" by America's northern neighbor. "The never ending Maple Mexican attack on...

Justin Trudeau Shocks World; Apologizes For Mass Canadian Ambien Usage In 1812

FRENCH TOWN, CANADA LAND -- When President Donald Trump asked Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau during a phone call between the two heads of state if Canada burned down the White House during the War of 1812, many thought...

Democratic Voter: Cruz’s Birthplace Doesn’t Matter; His Idiotic Views of the World Do

COLD STONE, NEW HAMPSHIRE -- Cynthia Garrison says she will be "pissed as hell" if her fellow Democrats "become raging birthers" over Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) and his eligibility to become President of the United States. Garrison, speaking to us...

Ted Cruz Apologizes for Joe Biden Joke; Still ‘Totally Cool’ With Past Douchiness

Ted Cruz further responds to criticism about his ill-timed joke at Vice-President Biden's expense.

“Why I Should Be President” by Senator Ted Cruz

Read why Senator Ted Cruz thinks you should elect him next year.
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Jim Jordan Promises House Investigation to Find Wife’s Clit

Rep. Jim Jordan (Q-OH) already has a healthy spate of investigations he's planning to conduct as chairman of the...
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