Brett Kavanaugh

Kavanaugh Tells Jackson All Supreme Court Justice Have to Pass a Breathalyzer Before Hearings

This morning, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh emailed Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to "give some pointers" and "do a little bit of pre-orientation" with her. Judge Brown is President Joe Biden's first Supreme Court nominee, and would fill an...

Dems Offer to Exchange Jackson’s LSATs for Kavanaugh’s BAC the Night He Assaulted Blasey Ford

https://youtu.be/KpyFDvoO8UU When President Joe Biden nominated Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer, not many on the Hill expected Republicans to just roll over without a fight and let her onto the bench without smearing...

COVID-19 Desperately Googling “How to Prevent Being Drugged and Date Raped”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's something that COVID-19 was sure it would never have to worry about, but now it's all it can think about. Upon finding out that Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh would be spending some very close,...

Ben Shapiro Just Really Wants to See Justice Kavanaugh’s Dick, Okay?

Dear Brett Kavanaugh, Ben Shapiro just wants to see your dick, okay? For the good of the country, sure, but really for the good of Ben's own shaky nerves. You see, Mr. Ben doesn't think it's possible that you could...

Brett Kavanaugh Jealous Democrats Got Bombed While He Had To Listen To Boring Court Cases

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While the nation was gripped with headlines this week about the man who has come to be known as "the MAGABomber," there was one man in the nation's capital who was reportedly doing everything he could...

Scores Of Women Demanding Susan Collins Turn In Her Vadge

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The office of Senator Susan Collins is confirming at the time of publication that is being inundated with demands from women all over the planet to "turn in her vadge," one aide said. "Like when the police...

Trump Offers Last Minute Compromise: Replace Kavanaugh With Bill Cosby

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Offering to "help two sexual predators with one stone," President Donald Trump told Democrats today that he'd be willing to rescind Brett Kavanaugh's nomination to the Supreme Court, but only if they'd be amenable to confirming...

Trump Wonders If Kavanaugh Accusers ‘Maybe Let’ Themselves Be Assaulted ‘For Totally Political Reasons’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, another bombshell allegation of sexual misconduct from Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh's past -- this time from his college years -- was published and it has sent the Trump administration scrambling once more. Just days...

Kavanaugh Assures Senate He Only Thinks One Particular Orange Shit Clown President Is Above The Law, Not All Of Them

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Brett Kavanaugh, a political operative turned D.C. appeals circuit judge, has been nominated by President Donald Trump to succeed retiring Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, but despite the potential for conflicts of interest, Judge Kavanaugh says...
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Sinema Congratulates Fellow Dems on Senate Majority She Will Work with GOP to Thwart

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Perhaps nobody is as excited that her fellow Democrats will hold the Senate majority for the...
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