Bernie Sanders

Bernie or Bust Voter Won’t Vote For DNC Shill Bernie Sanders After Biden Endorsement

VALLE IZQUIERDA, CALIFORNIA -- When Bernie Sanders endorsed Joe Biden's presidential campaign during a livestream hosted by the former Vice President this morning, he took just about everyone by surprise. Sanders eventually endorsed and campaigned for Hillary Clinton back...

She Didn’t Want to Be a Bernie Bro, She Was Just 22 and Liked Policies That Made Her Future Brighter

Kirsten Tomjanovich is a Bernie Bro. Yes, she's biologically a female, and identifies as such, but Kirsten is, undeniably, a Bernie Bro. At least that's what months of interacting with people on social media has gotten her convinced of...

Man Wonders What Would Happen If Everyone Who Said Sanders Can’t Win Voted Blue No Matter Who

FT. MODERATION, IDAHO-- Tyler Pessimistanto is a 38 year old American voter, and a registered Democrat. He wasn't always a Democrat. In his lifetime, Tyler has also been a Republican and a registered independent. Tyler considers himself a progressive,...

Can a Candidate Win the General Election If They’re Enormously Popular and Keep Winning Primaries?

With less than nine months to go until the general election in November, the field of Democratic candidates has still yet to shed some of its biggest (and richest) names. Will the billionaire who used to be a Republican...

DNC: “We’re Not Taking Any Sides Except Against Candidates We Don’t Want You to Want”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Democratic National Committee released a statement today, perhaps in an attempt to head off criticism that it's working to give former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg (D-Cash) any advantage it can. It was announced...

Pundits: Could The Guy With The Crazy Idea That ‘Rich People Are Doing Okay Enough’ Really Be Elected?

We asked three political pundits from three cable news networks to weigh-in on Bernie Sanders' chances.

Woman Unpopular Enough to Lose Winnable Election to Literal Garbage Says Sanders is Unpopular

SELF-UNAWARE FOREST, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton won the 2016 national popular vote by over 3 million. However, in three key states she lost it, and because American presidential elections utilize the Electoral College to...

POLL: Most Americans Hope Sanders and Warren Fans Remember How God Awful Trump Is

A new poll released this morning shows that the overwhelming majority of Americans aren't taking a side in a brewing dustup between two leading, rival candidates for the Democratic Party's presidential nomination. This week, tensions started to flare between the...

Bernie Sanders Withdraws From Primary in Order to Spend More Time With Remaining Vocal Cords

MIAMI, FLORIDA — Two-time Democratic nomination contender and man who shouts at strangers on the A train while they all pretend he isn’t actually there, Bernie Sander, has this morning caused upset in hipster cafes across the nation after...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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