Emperor Palpatine Defends Attorney General Vader’s Use of Stormtroopers in Portland

CORUSCANT -- As protests mount throughout the galaxy, Emperor Sheev Palpatine has maintained a public tone of righteousness and self-assurance. The protests have begun to spring up on one planet in particular, Earth, in response to Palpatine's Attorney General...
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Punxsutawney Phil Tells Kari Lake She’ll Spend Four More Years Not Being Governor

This morning, Punxsutawney Phil, the seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators, awoke from his slumber, saw his shadow, and...
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