We Asked Doctors and EMTs to Explain How Rittenhouse Could Render First Aid With His AR-15

A key component of accused double-murderer Kyle Rittenhouse's defense has been painting the teenaged male as someone whose overwhelming worry about the riots taking place in Kenosha, Wisconsin, drove him to go there looking to help, primarily by rendering...

Alabama Rape Victim Uses Legally Obtained AR-15 to Perform Own Abortion

LAGO DEL DESESPERACIÓN, ALABAMA -- In March, 28 year old nurse and Alabama resident Jane Sampson was raped while walking home after working a late shift at St. Mary's Hospital. To her utter shock and dismay, when Jane missed her period...

Trump Supporter To Take Pipe Bombs, Shoulder-Fired RPG To Vatican For Pope’s Blessing

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- Clem O'Connell bills himself as "the biggest Second Amendment defender west of the Ozarks." From his double-wide trailer, Clem hosts "Gun Gabbers," a podcast that has risen to semi-prominence among some on the right. This morning,...

Dick’s Will No Longer Sell Replacement Dicks

CORAPOLIS, PENNSYLVANIA -- Retail giant Dick's Sporting Goods announced today that they will no longer be in the business of selling phallic replacement devices, in the wake of one the country's most popular stand-in penises being used to murder...

Trump Supporter Recovering From Honeymoon Groin Injuries After Marrying AR-15

When Clem O'Connell married his darling AR-15, he thought he'd be in for a lifetime of happiness. But his honeymoon turned quickly disastrous.

Wayne LaPierre Leaves His Wife for His Trusty Rifle

Wayne LaPierre is moving on after years of marriage.
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Biden Tells MTG He’ll Shoot Down Chinese Balloon When She Finds China or Montana on a Map

President Joe Biden was asked today about whether or not he's heard the calls from House Republicans to direct...
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