Anthony Fauci

Fauci to Paul: “In My Non Self-Certified Medical Opinion, You’re a Bitch-Ass Lying Traitor”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After two years of the global COVID-19 pandemic and the federal government's response to it, one thing is certain -- there is absolutely no love lost between Dr. Anthony Fauci, a real medical doctor, and Sen....

Fauci Warns MAGAs: You Can Get Omicron from Cousin Despite Taking Ivermectin or Wearing Condom

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Appearing before the Senate Oversight and Pumpkin Pie Recipe Committee this morning, Dr. Anthony Fauci warned Americans to "take caution" in preparing for their holiday gatherings and reunions. Fauci had ominous words for those living in...

Fauci: “Cruz Has the Same Punchablefaceitis That Rand Paul’s Neighbor Diagnosed Him With”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Ted Cruz and Sen. Rand Paul share something other than a membership to a political party that views counting votes as cheating. According to Dr. Anthony Fauci, both senators also suffer from the same medical...

Bible Belt Teenage Incest Pregnancies Skyrocket After Fauci Reiterates Effectiveness of Condoms

The American Medical Union of America released a report this week that indicates Anthony Fauci may have even less influence over pro-MAGA Americans than was even considered possible only a few weeks ago. At a press conference Tuesday morning,...

Fauci Says Rand Paul’s Brain ‘Could Stand to Gain a Little Function’

The war of words and ill-will between one of the country's foremost immunologists and a guy who had to self-certify as an eye doctor is heating up again. Yesterday, Dr. Anthony Fauci and Sen. Rand Paul (Q-KY) got into...

Fauci Asks Rand Paul When He Self-Certified as a Virologist

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There is no love lost between Dr. Anthony Fauci and Senator "Dr." Rand Paul (Q-KY), and there is really no denying that fact. What started as a cold but professional rapport at the outset of the COVID-19...

Fauci Says He’s Never Heard of a Virology Lab in Any Crossfit Gym

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congresshorse Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) wants Americans to ignore the advice of Dr. Anthony Fauci and instead listen to her. Her rationale is that, as a gym owner, she can advise Americans how to live...

Fauci Nominated for Nobel Prize in Dealing With Criticism From Morons Who Couldn’t Do Your Job

The Nobel Prize Committee announced a new round of nominations for their highly sought after award, and a few were in brand new categories, created over the past year. Of particular note, Dr. Anthony Fauci received a nomination for...

Greene Demands Fauci Answer Her COVID Questions Before Trump is Reinstated on June 31st

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-Dumbfuckistan) has sent a letter to Dr. Anthony Fauci, demanding that he answer a series of questions she has about his performance during the COVID-19 global pandemic. In her letter to Fauci,...

Hey Libs: Fauci’s Emails Prove Trump Isn’t an Autocratic, Lying, Daughter-Lusting Racist Fuckbag

The following is an editorial written by Dustin Pewpsin, a conservative blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur, cross burner, avid outdoorsman, and Second Amendment enthusiast. The views and opinions expressed by Mr. Pewpsin do not necessarily reflect those of this publication, its...
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Jesus Really Loved Sam Smith’s and Kim Petras’ Grammy Performance

Many conservative commentators have been apoplectic about singers Sam Smith and Kim Petras appearance at this past weekend's Grammy...
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