American Christians

Jesus Gives Permission to MAGA to Worship Trump Instead

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, Executive Vice-President of Holy Trinity, Inc., told reporters today that he and his father have decided to give members of the MAGA movement what he called "special consideration" and permission to...

Satanic Goat Sacrifice and Skunk Fucking Cult Says Religious Liberty Task Force Allows Them To Discriminate Against Christians

LA ORINA DA SATANÁS, ARIZONA -- Seth Lindstrom, The High Chieftain of The Temple of Dark Red -- a Satanic cult whose practices include the sacrifice of live goats and fornicating with skunks -- has issued a statement regarding...

God To Send His Son Back As “Refu-Jesus” To Teach Americans How To Be Christian Again

Just how Christian are American Christians? Apparently if you ask God or his son, the answer is, "Not effing very." The more you know.
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Biden Tells MTG He’ll Shoot Down Chinese Balloon When She Finds China or Montana on a Map

President Joe Biden was asked today about whether or not he's heard the calls from House Republicans to direct...
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