Alabama Offering Anyone Who Gets Vaccinated Free Nudes of Their Sister

MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA -- All over the country, states are trying desperately to get their residents to take one of the three FDA-approved COVID-19 vaccines. Most economists agree that a key factor in getting economies going again after nearly a...

He Would Rather Be Homeless in California Than Live in Alabama

LOS CONSERVATIVOS CHINGANDOS, CALIFORNIA -- This morning, a day after Christmas, impeached President Donald J. Trump lashed out at Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, the State of California, and its governor Gavin Newsom. Trump is understandably in a...

Alabama Democrat Wants Mandatory Vasectomies Until Marriage

RÉCIPROQUE BAY, ALABAMA -- A Democrat in the State of Alabama has drafted new legislation she hopes will be a "counterbalancing measure" to the nation's most restrictive abortion law since the 1973 landmark Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision.  Earlier this...

Roy Moore Comforting Himself With 14 Year Old…Bottle Of Rum

Judge Moore tells a prayer breakfast crowd how he's coping with losing to Democrat Doug Jones.

Roy Moore Hopes To Bring His “Brand of Alabama Values And Pedophilia” To D.C.

"Would you tell the Holy Spirit he was wrong for statutorily raping the Virgin Mary, Joe?"

He’s Voting For Moore Because He “Keeps Teen Girls Safe From Transgenders In Bathrooms So He Can Fuck Them Later”

"I'd rather have a morally Christian 35 year old man fuck my 14 year old daughter than a man born a woman piss in front of her."

Roy Moore Rejects Trump’s Endorsement Over Inappropriate Sexual Comments About His Adult Daughter

"Once she gets to 15 or 16, it just becomes absolutely horrifying to think about your daughter that way."

Roy Moore Turns Down Gift Of 18 Year Old Bourbon Because It’s Aged Too Much For His Liking

"Maybe if this bourbon were 14, 15, or at most 15 and a half years old, Judge Moore would put his lips around it."
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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