Afghanistan

Texas Informs Congress It Has Added “-ghanistan” to Its Name

AUSTIN, TEXGHANISTAN -- For for the first time in decades, a member of the United States of America has filed the paperwork with Congress necessary to change its name on all official documents. At a ceremony marking the occasion,...

Cruz: “America Needed a Draft Dodger With Bone Spurs Leading the Afghanistan Withdrawal”

"What this entire debacle has taught is something really quite simple to understand. America needed a draft dodger with bone spurs leading the Afghanistan withdrawal." - Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) During a press conference this morning, Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun)...

Graham: Biden Should Be Impeached for Afghanistan and How Little Face-to-Balls Time He Gets

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Elected pro-MAGA Republicans have been relentless in the past few days in their calls for the impeachment of President Joe Biden. At the center of their complaints is the handling of the drawdown of U.S. troop...

Biden Asks Taliban to Trade One Stephen Miller for One Million Afghan Refugees

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the evacuation of Afghanistan continues apace, President Joe Biden has promised the American public he'll do everything he can to get every every citizen, and ally who helped the country's twenty year war effort in...

Penis-Shaped Racist Shares His Thoughts on Afghan Refugees With Laura Ingraham

TRANSYLVANIA, FLORIDUH -- Last night on Fox News, host Laura Ingraham welcomed a penis-shaped racist man to share his thoughts on whether the U.S. should make efforts to house refugees from Afghanistan. As the situation in that country worsens,...

Ivanka: “I Know for a Fact Daddy Could Pull-Out Better”

LAKE DAUGHTERLUST, FLORIDA -- All across pro-MAGA media, President Joe Biden is getting hammered for how the military has handled the planned withdrawal of its forces from Afghanistan. In just a few short days, Taliban fighters have recaptured massive swaths...

Pro-MAGA Fire Chief Slams Biden for Putting Out 20 Year Old Fire George W. Bush Started

WHISTLING DICK, MONTANA -- This weekend, President Joe Biden performed what most would call an act of heroism and bravery. While flying over Montana in Air Force One, performing one of his routine airborne state inspections, President Biden spotted...

Trump Blames Taliban Retaking Afghanistan on Biden Not Sucking Up to Them

FART-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- The former, one-term, twice forever impeached 45th  Smartest President of the United States issued a statement this morning, slamming the current administration. Donald Trump, a reality-TV game show host with several failed businesses under his...

While In Afghanistan, VP Mike Pence Joins Taliban

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN -- Vice President Mike Pence embarked on his first trip to Afghanistan this week, which was a surprise visit for security reasons. Today Pence shocked perhaps the entire world when he announced while in the country that...

Soldier In Afghanistan is ‘Completely Reassured’ Having D-List Reality TV Star Commanding Her

Stationed in Afghanistan, this soldier has the utmost confidence in President Donald Trump to guide the army to victory...or something.
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DeSantis Wants $6 Billion to Build Bonfire Pits at Every Florida Library

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) wants the state's legislature to give his administration $6 billion in taxpayer funds so...
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