2024

Stupidfuck Promises to Pardon Dumbfucks Who Attempted Idiotic Coup on His Behalf

This weekend, a defeated former president and confirmed stupidfuck -- who has yet to win the popular vote in any election he's entered -- stoked rage, spewed lies about losing last year's presidential election, and edged his followers toward...

Trump Tells Followers to Renounce Their Citizenship and Leave America if ‘They Don’t ‘Fix 2020’

FART BREATH, IOWA -- Standing on a stage in front of a cornfield, with hundreds of his most devoted, maskless and unvaccinated followers cheering him on, former President Donald Trump continued his apparent efforts to convince his backers not...

Jon Gruden Just Behind Trump in New 2024 GOP Poll

Racist and homophobic emails from nearly a decade ago have cost NFL head coach Jon Gruden his job with the Las Vegas Raiders, but a new poll of likely GOP voters shows they could help him land a different,...

Palm Beach Burger King Cook ‘Wouldn’t Bet’ on Trump Winning in 2024

PALM BEACH, FLORIDUH -- Juan Miguel Vincente, 32, has been working at the Burger King franchise just down the street from his home for the past three years. He says he'll never forget the first time he met a...

New Poll: 60% of Republicans and 100% of Morons Back Trump in 2024

In American history, few men have lost a presidential election only to come back and win one later, though in the past six decades, it has happened three times. Presidents Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, and George HW Bush all...

McEnany: “Donald Trump Has More Than Enough Stamina to Lose the Popular Vote a Third Time”

It's one of the most burning questions, and the answer likely won't come for at least another year or more, but that hasn't stopped the media from speculating about it. Will Donald Trump lose the popular vote one more...
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Boebert: “I Don’t Have to Be Able to Spell Socialism to Condemn It!”

Today, House Republicans will tackle the issue that every American knows is the most important. However, if you thought...
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