14th Amendment

Greene Can’t Recall What She Said She Can’t Recall About What She Said Five Minutes Ago

Last week, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) took the witness stand in the first hearing to determine her eligibility to seek re-election. Greene's candidacy has been challenged by a group of voters in her own district, on grounds that...

Pregnant Russian Woman Unsure Whether Trump Will Let Her Birth Anchor Baby At Mar-A-Lago Now

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Though her bags are all packed and her birth coach has been reserved and paid for since late this summer, 32 year old Olga Petrova says she's now not sure if she should cancel her upcoming...

Trump Offers Citizenship to Anchor Babies Who Sign Up For Space Force

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump could reportedly be signing an Executive Order at any moment that would effectively end birthright citizenship, even though it's highly dubious in terms of constitutionality. Moments ago, Trump offered compromises to critics who point...

White House Offers Compromise: Birthright Citizenship For White Babies Only

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump set the American political scene on fire when Axios reported that he plans to sign an executive order ending birthright citizenship for babies born to undocumented citizens within the United States. Since...

I Don’t Want to Kill Gays Literally, Only Legally and Metaphorically by VP Mike Pence

"No matter how tempting it would be to live our lives as if 2017 years haven't passed since the Bible Times and now, we can't."

Trump Expands Religious Freedom Executive Order to Include Segregated Water Fountains

President Trump's executive order on "religious freedom" may soon be expanded to protect racists' rights to be racist, as long as God tells them to.

Bobby Jindal Proposes ‘Separate But Equal’ Birthright Citizenship

"In the proposal, Governor Jindal makes it very clear that these new citizens would only get access to six of the ten amendments in the Bill of Rights."

Humankind Considers Ending Republicans’ Birthright Membership to the Species

"The bottom line, is that until Republicans get back to their roots as the Party of Lincoln, we're not going to automatically assume a Republican is human."

Ruined Traditional Marriage Count (Week #5)

Did gay marriage ruin your straight marriage this week too?!
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How didĀ thisĀ end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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