Stephen Miller Encourages Trump Supporters to Boycott ‘Reverse Racist’ Black Friday

Published on

This week, millions of Americans will celebrate Thanksgiving. Some will embrace a traditional, more whitewashed version of the very first Thanksgiving, and others will keep the holiday while remembering that natives and pilgrims didn’t share a turkey and cranberry sauce in the 17th century.

Once all the food has been eaten, and the dishes cleaned, thousands of Americans will pile in their cars and head for retail shopping centers. The day after Thanksgiving, known as “Black Friday,” has become a vital part of the holiday shopping season. However, former White House adviser Stephen Miller will not be among the throng of Americans packing into malls and retailers, trying to score a hot deal for Christmas.

Biologists Confirm: Ted Cruz is a Sentient Crotch Cyst

“I just think the very notion of Black Friday is dangerous. An entire day devoted to, what, exactly? I’m guessing black people and Friday? Rude. Pure rudeness, Laura, and in fact I’d go so far as to say it’s extremely reverse racist against white people,” Miller told Laura Ingraham on her show last Friday night.

Miller is therefore urging Trump supporters to “vote with their wallets” and boycott Black Friday.

“I wouldn’t call it cancel culture, but we want to cancel the culture of Black Friday, that’s for sure,” Miller said. “So you’ll pay may for the ‘Let’s Go Brandon’ shirt you wanted to get your cousin-lover for Christmas, so what? Isn’t that better than giving over to the woke agenda, patriots?”

Mr. Miller told Frau Ingraham that he is willing to call off his boycott. However, everyone would have to agree to a name change.

“It’s pretty simple, Laura. We need a name that doesn’t make white people feel icky, or less than fully appreciated for being white,” Miller explained. “So, I’m thinking something like ‘All Fridays Matter Day’ or something like that. That seems like a very fair compromise to me.”

Judge Says Bannon May Have Conjugal Visits With Both MTG and Dan Bongino

Become a Patron!

Follow James on Instagram.
Subscribe to James’ Patreon for ad-free satire.


 

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

Latest articles

Want to Read Some Excerpts From The New Bible Trump Is Selling?

When one looks at the life and times of Donald J. Trump, one can't...

I Applaud Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Efforts to Free My Antifa Brethren From Jail

"...imagine my shock and surprise when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene started her attention whoring...

What If Trump Uses Ivanka’s OnlyFans to Payoff His Rape, Defamation, and Fraud Fines?

"...it turns out Eric Trump  spent all his money this week on magic beans...

I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...