Anheuser-Busch Selling $400 Special Edition Boycott Cases of Bud Light for Target Practice

Gun owning super-patriot religious inquisitors looking to take their transphobic and homophobic rage out on an inanimate object are in luck, thanks to a new product being released by Anheuser-Busch this week. For $400, American beer consumers can purchase the “Bud Light Boycott and Target Practice Pack.” The packs come as either 24 cans or bottles of Bud Light.

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Christian conservatives found yet a new reason to be outraged when Bud Light celebrated trans visibility day and worked with a social media influencer who happens to be a transgender woman. The outrage sparked on the right caused a backlash that called for a boycott of Bud Light. Videos of like-minded pro-MAGA Americans throwing out, destroying, and even shooting their Bud Light went viral.

Alleged musician Grand Wizard Kid Rock escalated the conservative war on Bud Light when he posted a video of himself in a white MAGA hat shooting a case of the domestic lager with his semiautomatic rifle. That video was apparently the impetus for Anheuser-Busch to package a special Bud Light case, just for those who wish to boycott them by buying their beer and shooting it.

Anheuser-Busch junior media liaison Chuck Pitzenbrew, spoke to us about his company’s new product line.

“Obviously, we’re not going to go backwards and start catering to knuckle-draggers. We’re a giant corporate behemoth, and we’ve spent the money doing the marketing research we needed to figure out the market already spoke about LGTBQ rights a long time ago,” Pitzenbrew explained. “That being said, if some of our customers’ idea of a boycott is destroying something they already paid for, we figured why not give them something specially designed for that purpose?”

Mr. Pitzenbrew said the special boycott edition cases of Bud Light will contain the same “watered down swill tangentially related to beer” that all Bud Light cans and bottles contain. However, from the aesthetic and design point of view, they’ll be quite different.

“We’re just going to slap a bullseye sticker on the boxes we’ve already sent through our production line,” Pitzenbrew said. “So it’s minimal effort for maximum profits.”

Kid Rock was too busy crying to be reached for comment.

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In this satire we imagine what a response from BudLight might look like KidRock #lgtbq🏳️‍🌈 #dylanmulvaney #transrights #politics #politik #poliical

♬ original sound – James Schlarmann – James Schlarmann

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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