Shapiro: “Democrats Are Racist for Implying Minorities Can’t Get Around Republican Cheating on Their Own!”

Right-wing commentator and Daily Wire founding editor Ben Shapiro told his podcast audience today that he’s “extremely angry and unnerved” at the overall response to Georgia’s sweeping new voting regulations. Shapiro decried attempts to paint the new restrictions placed on mail-in voting and criminalizing distribution of food and water as voter suppression and racism.

“Oh, so now we’re just going to say that anything that disproportionately impacts people of color in ways it doesn’t impact white people is racist? What a fantasy world these over-woke liberals live in,” Shapiro whined intellectually. “Don’t believe it folks. What’s happening in Georgia is a direct response to Republicans losing last November, but it’s not racism just because the liberals say it is. It’s cheating.”

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Shapiro insisted that “cheating isn’t racist by default,” and that as he sees it, Democrats are racist for coming to the defense of minorities’ right to vote.

“You know what? Democrats are racist,” Shapiro insisted. “Democrats are racist for implying minorities can’t get around Republican cheating on their own! It’s same thing with welfare, even though wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more white folks get welfare, Democrats always defend welfare because they’re racist and think the browns can only live their lives if we good, clean, red meat eating, ammo hording patriots give them some of our hard earned money every month!”

Shapiro then took a call from Ann Coulter, another conservative commentator and the 1992 runner-up at the Belmont Stakes. Coulter agreed with Shapiro completely and added more.

“I agree with you, Ben, and let me just add a little more context,” Coulter said. “Fuck the brown people.”

Shapiro laughed and said he appreciated Coulter’s “style of satire.”

“Satire? What the fuck is that, Ben? I mean it,” Coulter responded. “Fuck. The. Brown. People.”

After thinking about what Coulter had just said for a second or two, Shapiro laughed again.

“I mean, when you’re right, you’re right Ann,” Shapiro said. “We’ll be right back with a flaming cross that will tell us why Democrats are racist as well.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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