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Trump Family Makes Deal With Lawry’s For Exclusive New Table Salt
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today the White House released a joint press release with the Trump Foundation, announcing a partnership with Lawry's on a new...
Trump Backtracks Backtrack: “I Meant To Say I Saw No Reason It Would Wouldn’t...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the second time in as many days, President Donald Trump backtracked on a statement he made regarding Russia's culpability for...
Booted Obamacare Members Compensated with Ayn Rand Novels
Washington D.C. -- House Speaker Paul Ryan announced this morning that Obamacare members who will lose their coverage will be compensated with discounted versions...
Citing Budget Deficit, Trump Enacts Tariff On Free Speech
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump issued an executive order today that placed a steep 1488% tariff on free speech, with very few carve...
DHS Seeks Deal With PETCO To Provide Crates For Immigrant Child Detention Centers
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House announced today that the Department of Homeland Security wants to purchase 100,000 dog crates of various sizes from...
President Hillary Clinton Officially Pardons Herself For Benghazi, Emails, Secret Assassinations
BIZARRO WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, in the Alternate White House, Alternative President Hillary Rodham Clinton made history yet again as she became the...
Trump Organization To Turn North Korean Summit Coins Into New Cryptocurrency “BitKKKoin”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite being scrubbed, for now, the highly-anticipated summit between U.S. President Donald Trump and North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un inspired...
Congress to Consider Funding for Bulletproof Schools In Response to School Shootings
Congress is kicking around a unique new idea to mitigate the horror of school shootings.
Another Benghazi? Obama Reportedly Wore Tan Suit, Ate Burger With Mustard While Watching Gaza...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Deadly violence that took the lives of over 60 Palestinians attempting to cross an Israeli Gaza border fence in protest of...
North Korea Sends Draft Peace Deal To Ambassador Dennis Rodman For Input
This morning the leaders of North and South Korea set the world abuzz thanks to their historic peace summit, now underway on the Korean...