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Lindsey Graham Insists Conviction in Second Impeachment Won’t Remove Him From Trump’s Rectum

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Lindsey Graham, speaking to reporters this morning just hours before the second impeachment trial of Former President Donald J. Trump...

Biden Says Stacey Abrams Can Be “Secretary of Whatever the Fuck She Wants”

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In just 14 days, Joe Biden will become the 46th President of the United States of America. When that happens, there can be no...

Biden Says He’ll Nominate Abrams for “Secretary of Whatever the Fuck She Wants”

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In just 14 days, Joe Biden will become the 46th President of the United States of America. When that happens, there can be no...

Trump Wants Congress to Declare Him President of the Confederacy

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before becoming the 45th most intelligent President of the United States ever, Donald Trump was an alleged businessman. Throughout the 1970's,...

Trump Disappointed to Leave Office Without Wind Cancer Vaccine

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For a one-term president, regrets about unfinished work are par for the course, even for a president as bombastic, self-aggrandizing, and...

Over Christmas, Trump’s Kids Asked Him If They Can Strip the White House of...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Outwardly, the President of the United States of America is doing what he's done his whole life -- projecting a reality...

Here You Go Plebs, Here’s $600. Thanks For the Salary and Healthcare.

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The following editorial was written by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-CA) in concert with one...

Ron Johnson Open to $1200 Covid Relief Checks for Russian Citizens

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell spoke from the floor of the Senate this morning during a session in which the chamber...

Biden Promises to Only Pack the Supreme Court With Two Obamas

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DELAWARE -- The subject of "packing" the Supreme Court came up numerous times in the last few weeks of the presidential campaign, and mostly...

Report: FBI Investigating Whether Trump Spent $3 Million in Wisconsin Buying Votes

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The FBI has opened a new investigation into whether or not the Trump campaign illegally tried to buy votes in Wisconsin,...