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Trump, Un Set ‘Hard And Fast’ Self-Fellatio Time Limit Ahead of Summit

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SINGAPORE -- Representatives from President Donald Trump and North Korea's dictator Kim Jong Un announced via a joint statement today that they have agreed...

Trump Outraged Triple Crown Winner Justify Didn’t Have Hoof Over Heart During National Anthem

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AIR FORCE ONE -- History was made this weekend when Justify became just the 13th horse in history to win the Triple Crown, but...

Leading Graduating Kindergartners, Trump Briefly Forgets Words to Pledge of Allegiance

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump experienced a brief moment of confusion when leading a local graduating kindergarten class in the Pledge...

Betsy DeVos Sees Nothing Wrong At All With Trump Administration’s Grasp Of History

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In less than a week's time, the Donald Trump administration has experienced two separate incidents that many would say show an...

On Call With Merkel, Trump Brings Up Taxation Without Representation

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House announced today that it will be going over their world history flashcards with President Donald Trump after two...

Scott Pruitt Looking For Dead Planet He Had Stuffed In Trump Hotel Mattress

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The scandal involving chief EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt's financial and administrative decisions shows no signs of going away any time soon. (adsbygoogle...

Eric Trump Worried He Won’t Get To Go Down Big Slide After McConnell Cancels...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A worried and anxious Eric Trump bounded into the Oval Office this morning, pushing past security and throwing the door open,...

Trump Asks Ivanka To Be ‘Fill-in Melanie’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump reached out his First Lady today and asked her to fulfill some of the duties of her stepmother, Melania...

“Roseanne” Cancellation Has Trump Worried Racist Tweets ‘Can Cost You Your Job Now’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A nervous and paranoid Donald Trump picked up the phone in the Oval Office and demanded that Chief of Staff John...

Ahead of Midterms, Trump Warns Dems: “You Can’t Impeach Me, David Dennison Took The...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today from within the Oval Office, President Donald Trump issued a warning to Democrats, should they recapture both the House and...