Sarah Huckabee: “It Was Stupid of The Constitution to Not Give Presidents Unlimited Powers”

SLOP TROUGH, ARKANSAS — Former Chief White House Propaganda Minister Sarah Huckabee Sanders appeared on Fox News today and blasted Congressional representatives from either political party who were calling for a legislative effort to rein in President Trump’s ability to put American armed forces in harm’s way.

The House of Representatives was set to vote later on a resolution that would seriously curtail any president’s ability to make war in another country. President Trump has argued that the military force authorization issued by Congress in the wake of 9/11 — that ostensibly gave the George W. Bush administration approval to start the so-called “War on Terror,” grants his administration the right to conduct hostile air raids, like the one he ordered against top-ranking Iranian Military General Qasem Soleimani last week.

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Criticism of Trump’s decision to assassinate Maj. General Soleimani has met harsh criticism, less so for Soleimani’s killing, and more for its timing. Some have wondered if it was politically motivated, as an attempt to “wag the dog,” and distract Trump’s base from his ongoing impeachment battle in Congress. Perhaps surprisingly, Trump has even faced withering criticism for his administration’s handling of the situation from Republicans like Senators Mike Lee and Rand Paul, who were offended they were told not to question the use of force in a briefing meeting with administration officials.

After appearing no Fox News this morning, Huckabee Sanders did a radio interview with WKKK’s Chip Chatterly, who asked her to expound on her previous comments. Chatterly asked Huckabee how she responds to those who would remind her the Constitution itself designates all powers of declaring war to Congress. Ms. Huckabee Sanders dismissed those criticisms completely.

“I completely dismiss those criticisms, and frankly it just shows you how little people understand about these things. Of course the founders fought to establish a king-like monarchy wherein the head of state can plunge the country into war unilaterally,” Huckabee insisted. “If you don’t agree with that, you’re probably a traitor and dumb. Because even if it’s in the Constitution that Congress alone can declare wars, all that means is it was stupid of the Constitution not to give presidents unlimited powers.”

Huckabee Sanders called it “dangerous in the extreme” to “attempt any checks, balances, or limits” on presidential powers.

“Imagine if you tried to live in a country where a president couldn’t just do whatever the heck he wanted to! Imagine telling your kids that you love the Constitution more than you love the president,” Huckabee said. “How would anything ever get done? Isn’t it better to let a president just act however he wants to, and do whatever he wants to do? It really boggles my mind that more people don’t understand how important it is to let a president do whatever he wants to, whenever he wants to. I mean, this president was a reality-TV competition host and drove several businesses he started with money he got from his daddy straight into the ground! If that isn’t the kind of man we’d want to have God-like powers running this country, then I frankly don’t know who would be.”

Sanders attempted to head off any thoughts that she was only defending her former boss because she worked for him and he belongs to the same political party she does.

“And just for the record, I feel the same way about Democrat presidents,” Sanders said. “Provided they’re like the Democrats my grandparents and great grandparents would have supported. You know, conservative, Bible thumping, racist ones. Modern Democrats should have no powers as president, and I would fully support a Constitutional amendment to the effect.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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