Report: ‘Something Stinky’ Tipped Off Several People to “Masked Singer” Identity

When former New York City Mayor and Chief Donald Trump Insurrectionist Rudy Giuliani revealed his identity on Fox’s reality-TV competition show “The Masked Singer,” two judges left the stage in protest. Actor Ken Jeong and singer Robin Thicke quickly exited the production when Mr. Giuliani surprised everyone and pulled his mask off.

Apparently Jeong and Thicke were blindsided by Giuliani’s appearance, but reports are that had they been backstage that night, they might not have felt quite so bamboozled. According to several eye — and most importantly nose witnesses —  what one person described as “something stinky” was tipping people off before the show began taping. A source on set at the time told us in a Skype interview that “anyone downwind and within a country mile” of the person who was, at that time, still masked, would have gotten some strong ideas as to their real identity.

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“What was coming out of that contestant’s suit was, and I’m not exaggerating here, one of the worst and most putrid smells I’ve ever had in my nostrils. It was like a combination of vodka, Borscht, and, don’t laugh, Donald Trump’s taint,” our source told us.

“It was something stinky the likes of which I’ve never experienced, and I hope I never experience again.”

There were also sound problems that night, according to our source. Taping had to be stopped several times because there was an “audible, wet, bologna flapping sound” that kept coming through the sound recording equipment. It was a “technical nightmare” to get all the farting sounds removed before broadcast.

“I’ll be honest, I admire that Ken and Robin took a principled stand, but part of me thinks they might have been distracted. Because between the fart smells and the fart sounds, I think 80% of us had a pretty strong idea it was Tooty Rudy behind that mask, well before it was time to do his big reveal.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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