Things are getting really complicated, heady, and for some, perhaps even downright scary out there these days. It seems the country is lurching toward even more Constitutional crises as a nation, polarized as it always has been, grapples with challenges it’s never faced before. No American can be blamed for their ever-deepening feeling of despair, confusion, and dwindling hope for a sane, rational, or logical conclusion to these explosive events.
It’s precisely in times like these that we could all use a little distraction and entertainment. That being said, this outlet has always covered things in the political realm, and we don’t intend to stop any time soon. That’s why, in the interest of both public education and information, and for entertainment purposes, we put together this quick quiz for you to take on current events.
Share your score with us below, and with your friends by sharing this amazing quiz with your friends on the social media accounts of your choice.
Which of These Big, Dumb, Obnoxious, Lying Idiots Thinks He’s Above the Law?
Rudy “9/11. Hey I said 9/11. Did You Hear Me?! 9-Fucking-11, Guys” Giuliani
Is it illegal to run a rogue, shadow State Department, flying all over the world to engage foreign governments in sham investigations to dig up dirt on your political rivals? Is it illegal to do this when you’re not even an official government employee, and instead just the personal attorney of a president? And what does it say about someone that they lie about what they’re doing? The question, of course, is does this particular big, dum, obnoxious lying idiot thinks he’s above the law.
Conclusion: Capt. 9/11 definitely thinks he’s above the law since he’s doing illegal shit and pretending to not care about it.
Secretary of State Mike “War is Peace” Pompeo
Secretary Pompeo went on the record, at first anyway, claiming to not know anything about the call that Donald Trump had with the new Ukrainian president. During that call, Trump set in motion the events that would bring about his rapidly approaching impeachment. As it turns out, Sec. Pompeo burped up a lie when he told the American public he wasn’t on the call, because he was, indeed, on the phone call. Did Pompeo report the thinly veiled quid pro quo? Of course he didn’t. But, does all this mean that Pompeo, clearly a big, dumb obnoxious lying idiot think he’s above the law?
Conclusion: Does a neocon shit in the woods and then bomb the hell out of the forest to hide the evidence of their disgusting feces?
Attorney General William “A President is a God” Barr
The second of Trump’s personal attorneys on this quiz, Barr has rubber stamped everything Trump has touched since being confirmed as Attorney General. Barr famously hijacked the narrative of the Mueller Report and wrote a summary that somehow managed to exonerate Trump, even though the Mueller report explicitly does not exonerate him. Barr has helped Trump concoct bogus, sham excuses to not comply with lawful congressional oversight. Anyone who knew about who Barr is before he became the Attorney General is probably not shocked by these developments. However, it does leave us to ask the question of the day — is this specific boot licking, big, dumb, obnoxious lying idiot someone who thinks he’s above the law?
Conclusion: We’re not sure Barr thinks any laws exist until he tries to use them to smear Democrats. So, yeah, he’s most definitely the kind of dude who thinks he’s above the law. And he’s also literal rectal cancer, but that’s a quiz for another time.
His Royal Highness, The Imperial Grand Presidential Emperor of America-Land Donald J. Trump
At this point, it might be easier and quicker to make a list of the actions Emperor Trump has taken that don’t rise to the level of arrogant disregard for the rule of law. Despite running as the “law and order” candidate, His Royal Majesty has spent countless hours attacking law enforcement institutions for the crime of trying to hold him accountable for his unconstitutional misdeeds. Trump has vowed to fight congressional oversight requests, and has tried to obfuscate, hide, and cover-up the context of the call between himself and the Ukrainian president. Trump has asserted he as an “absolute right” to investigate whomever he wants, whenever he wants, as president. But even with all this evidence, is His Excellency the King President really a big, dumb, obnoxious lying idiot who places himself above the law?
Conclusion: What do you think? Look up “big, dumb, obnoxious lying idiot” in the dictionary and tell us whose picture you see.
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.