WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking turn of events, the Qanon Shaman was sentenced to three years in prison for his role in the January 6th attack on the US Capitol. However, our research has found that Q was unable to predict this.
Independent fact checkers at Not Really News scoured the internet for any clues that could have anticipated Jake Chansley’s imprisonment, but came up empty handed.
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According to Richard Fellows, the unofficial Denver spokesman for Q, preparations for John F. Kennedy Jr’s arrival may have taken precedence over any official communication absolving Chansley of any wrongdoing.
“When something like John F. Kennedy Jr reintroducing himself to the world as the legitimate president under our rightful first King Donald J. Trump is happening right before our eyes, some details tend to get lost in the mix. Add to that the fake news media and well, we may have either missed the Q Drop in regards to Chansley or it didn’t come,” Fellows said in a brief statement.
This isn’t the first time Q and their followers have come up short handed and left to fend for themselves. Back in December of 2016, Edgar Maddison Welch found himself left in the dark after storming Comet Ping Pong in NYC to save victims of a child sex ring, only to find the basement in which they were being held to be non-existent.
Said Fellows: “it seems the swamp is back at it again. The devils in DC are doing NOTHING to stop the current infiltration of lizard people into our government, and lending all their efforts to prosecuting those who committed actual crimes! This is was Q has warned us about for years, first with Pizzagate, and now with this so-called ‘insurrection.’ Needless to say, we are disheartened that the DC judge has allowed this charade to continue!”
This is a breaking story and Not Really News will continue to follow.