Putin Revokes Brennan’s Security Clearance

MOSCOW, RUSSIA — Former CIA Director John Brennan has been stripped of his security clearance at the behest of the most powerful man in the world. Speaking to reporters, Kremlin Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders made the announcement.

“Mr. Putin has a personal stake in protecting damning evidence and information and who has access to it, and that’s what he’s doing is fulfilling that responsibility in this action,” Sanders said Wednesday. “Also, President Trump has said that this is, like, totally cool with him, even though he knows his opinion on it isn’t nearly as important as President Putin’s.”

Mr. Brennan has yet to respond publicly to this development. Last month, the Trump administration announced it was looking into pulling the clearances of Mr. Brennan as well as other former top FBI and CIA officials. Former FBI Director James Comey, fired by Trump last year, is also having his security clearance put under review. Some view this as a vindictive move on the part of Mr. Trump, who has been the target of very sharp criticism from Brennan.

Huckabee Sanders tried to put those ideas to bed.

“How could Donald Trump be doing this for vindictive reasons when he’s not even the one calling this, or any, shot? Preposterous,” Huckabee Sanders groused while doing a line of powdered nacho cheese.

This story is developing.

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James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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