Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the Supreme Court's conservative majority is poised to help roll back abortion rights in America to...

Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the Supreme Court's conservative majority is...

“Here’s Why Your Uterus Belongs to Those Weird Jesus Freak Neighbors” by Amy Coney Barrett

The following editorial was submitted by Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney OfJesse Barrett. The views and opinions herein are those of Mrs. Barrett's, provided...

Ben Shapiro: “My Wife Told Me Not to Worry If I Can’t Find Her Clitoris, Someone Can”

Ben Shapiro can't find his wife's clitoris, and most nights he absolutely refuses to do so. However, according to Mr. Shapiro, his wife is...

Taliban Congratulates MAGA on Overturning Roe Vs Wade

Just hours after Politico broke a bombshell story -- that the Supreme Court had voted in February to strike down Roe vs Wade -- MAGA Americans are being...
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MAGAmerica

Taliban Congratulates MAGA on Overturning Roe Vs Wade

Just hours after Politico broke a bombshell story -- that the Supreme Court had voted in February to strike down Roe vs Wade -- MAGA Americans are being...

Trump: Bengals Lost a ‘Rigged’ Super Bowl When Officials Kept Counting the Rams’ Points

https://youtu.be/drebWBypJAo FARTS-A-LOT-THOUGH, FLORIDA -- In his mind, the Cincinnati Bengals won the Super Bowl last night, and former President Donald Trump is lashing out against...

Stupidfuck Promises to Pardon Dumbfucks Who Attempted Idiotic Coup on His Behalf

This weekend, a defeated former president and confirmed stupidfuck -- who has yet to win the popular vote in any election he's entered --...

Experts Agree: Four Out of Five MAGAS Can’t Make Their Cousins Climax

https://youtu.be/HMouPSsFfok Fascinating new data from the National Institute of Boner and Contraboner Research might be quite devastating for residents of red states. According to the NIBCR's...
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Tech

Musk Bought Twitter a Day Ago and My “@AmericasFirstReichPatriot” Account Still Isn’t Active!

Ummmmmmmmmmmm. What the actual, literal, perpetual fuck is going on over at Twitter? Elon Musk's offer to buy it was accepted more than a...

Of Course I Believe a Billionaire Wants to Protect My Freedom of Speech. I’m a Fucking Moron.

What's all this fuss about Elon Musk's hostile takeover attempt of Twitter? By now, don't we plebs understand that rich, white men are absolutely entitled to take...

If Musk Gets Controlling Stake, The First Thing He’ll Do Is Change Twitter’s Name

Billionaire Elon Musk recently purchased enough shares of Twitter to hold just under 10% of the total. It's not enough for him to gain...

Twitter Says Babylon Bee Can Have Its Account Back When It Switches from Hate Speech to Satire

Alleged comedic website The Babylon Bee had access to its Twitter account temporarily suspended this weekend for breaking the social media site's Terms of Service. When it...

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