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Trump Tells Queen She Should Ask for New Great Grandson’s Long Form Birth Certificate

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a call with Buckingham Palace, President Donald Trump offered Queen Elizabeth "deepest and bigliest congratulations" on the birth of her...

Hillary to Trump Jr.: “Oh, You Already Testified Before Congress? I Can Benghazi How...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a rather unforeseen nexus of events, former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton just happened to run into First Son...

IRS and God Confirm: Trump Is Equally as Christian and Billionaire

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In a rather unforeseen twist, God and the Internal Revenue Service have issued a joint press release this morning. The press release comes in...

Trump Promises: “We’re Only Covering-Up How Innocent I Really, Truly Am, I Pinky Swear!”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There is a battle currently going on between one-half of the legislative branch of government and Donald Trump's executive branch. There is...

Trump Awards Tiger Woods Presidential Medal of Adultery

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump gave golf champion Tiger Woods a medal that he said is "near and dear" to him, and...

Jack Dorsey Says Twitter Will Hold Trump Accountable When Congress Does

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SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- There is no denying that President Donald Trump engages in behavior on the Twitter social media platform that would likely...

Trump Gives Tiger Woods Presidential Medal of Adultery

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump gave golf champion Tiger Woods a medal that he said is "near and dear" to him, and...

Trump: “Bob Mueller Shouldn’t Testify Because He’d Exonerate Me Way Too Much!”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump lashed out on Twitter over the weekend at the idea of FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller testifying before a...

Trump Worried Too Many Solar Panels Means Humans Might ‘Suck Up All the Sunlight’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Presdident Donald Trump today told reporters that "one bigly reason" he supports the push for the return to coal as opposed...

Trump Congratulates White Janitor Who Cleaned Up After NFL Draft

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, President Trump congratulated Nick Bosa, a college football player who was drafted by the San Francisco 49er football club...