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Trump Regrets Every Abortion He Paid For, and the Don Jr. He Didn’t
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the Conservative Political Action Conference -- and gave a long-winded, rambling, often...
Michael Avenatti’s New Client Says Trump Sexually Assaulted Her In Front of Hundreds at...
NORTH HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- The attorney who represented Stormy Daniels in multiple suits against President Donald Trump held a press conference this morning in...
Nielsen: More People Watched Michael Cohen’s Testimony Than Wanted to Watch Trump’s Inauguration
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The Nielsen Ratings company has been tracking what Americans watch and how many of them watch it for decades....
Trump Gave Kim Jong-Un List of Blue States He’d Prefer NK Aim Nukes At
AIR FORCE INDIVIDUAL-1 -- During his meeting with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un, President Donald Trump handed his counterpart a map of the United...
Doctors Unsure When or If Cohen’s Foot Can Be Removed from Trump’s Rectum
WASHINGTON. D.C. -- At the time of publication, White House medical staff is boarding a supersonic jet to Vietnam, hoping that once they arrive...
Trump Packed Two Pairs of Dress Bone Spurs for Vietnam Summit
VIETNAM -- No one can ever accuse President Donald Trump of not dressing up for an occasion, and even important international diplomatic summits require...
Putin Unsure He’ll Invite Trump to D.C. 4th of July Celebration
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Over the weekend, President Donald Trump announced that -- for the very first time in the 243 years since its founding,...
Trump Issues National Emergency and Seizes the Memes of Satire Production
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning President Trump signed an executive order and declared a national emergency which he says gives him the authority to...
Mexico Agrees to Pay for National Emergency as Long as Trump Can Prove it...
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The Federal Government of Mexico has sent an official communique to both houses of Congress, offering to shoulder the financial...
McConnell Confident Trump Can Fit His Entire Dick In There
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a hastily convened press conference this afternoon, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell forcefully insisted that the entirety of whatever it...
