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Matt Gaetz Mocks Biden For Not Licking a Single Authoritarian Dictator’s Taint Yet

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"I bet Sleepy Joe doesn't even KNOW where Kim Jong-Un's G-spot is!"

Trump Pardons Benedict Arnold, Robert E. Lee, and Himself

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The outgoing, one-term, lame duck, permanently impeached President of the United States has not yet finished issuing 11th hour pardons. Last night,...

Eric and Don Jr Ask Santa for a PS5 and a New Election

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The outgoing president's sons have sent urgent letters to, as one of them put it, "the most powerful man...

Trump Campaign Sues America

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"That's it! THAT IS IT! THAT IS EEEE-NOUGH!" The shouts were heard reverberating around the White House, just after the president's fourth breakfast of the...

Moscow Joins Trump Lawsuit Seeking to End Vote Counting in Pennsylvania

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MOSCOW, RUSSIA, -- President Vladimir Putin has authorized the Kremlin to file amicus briefs in lawsuit filed by the Trump campaign. The suit is...

‘CNN Is Fake News!’ Screams Man Loading His Rifle While Entering Accused Pedophile Pizza...

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A man claims CNN is fake news while getting ready to personally investigate a story that has been widely debunked as fake news.

Booker, Harris Holding Up Federal Anti-Neighbor Ass Beating Law

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Legislation aimed at curbing the incidence of one neighbor beating up another is being stalled in the U.S. Senate by two...

Mexico Agrees to Pay For Stephen Miller’s Hair Plugs

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MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador dropped what could be a bombshell announcement on the world today, partially reversing a policy...

Republican Senator ‘Completely Bored to Death’ With Schiff’s Mountain of Irrefutable Evidence of Trump’s...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-Moscow) spent most of the third day of the impeachment trial of President Donald John Trump attacking a...

Mike Pence Keeps Writing “1819” On All His Checks And Policy Proposals

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- High Priest Reverend Pastor Vice President Mike Pence is like any other person in the world, despite being the third most...