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Cruz Will Insist That Congress Certify He Has an Ugly Wife and No Balls
This story first appeared on The Pastiche Post and is reprinted with permission.
Before the 2016 presidential race, Ted Cruz had a wife named Heidi whose looks...
Trump Wants Congress to Declare Him President of the Confederacy
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before becoming the 45th most intelligent President of the United States ever, Donald Trump was an alleged businessman. Throughout the 1970's,...
Biden Transition Team Serves Trump With Eviction Papers
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, the Biden transition team officially served outgoing one-term, permanently impeached lame duck President Donald J. Trump with official eviction papers...
Man Growing Tired of Covid-19 Restrictions He Doesn’t Really Follow Anyway
LAKE IGNORANCE, MICHIGAN-- Gerald Ricci is sick to death of his town's local COVID-19 restrictions, and he's starting to tell everyone around him that...
3 Ways to Tell If You’re in a Cult or Believe in a Vast...
Are you in a cult?
Before you answer that, stop and really think it over.
MORE: Stephen Miller Plans to Go from Working at the White...
5 Ways Donald Trump Can Still Win The Election
The 2020 election came and went. At times, it seemed like we were all going to be stuck in this election cycle forever. It...
Coronavirus Placed on 24-Hour Suicide Watch
Authorities are telling us that the novel coronavirus, known globally as "Covid-19," has been put on a constant, 24-hour suicide watch over the last...
James O’Queef Claims to Have Eyewitness Who Saw 3.2 Trillion Trump Votes Launched Into...
FUKWHIT, NEW YORK -- James O'Queef III and his Project Bullshitas have been attempting to make "gotcha" videos about liberals for over a decade...
Trump Signs Executive Order Declaring Himself “Actual” Winner of 2020 Election
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With the time on his first and only presidential term running out, President Trump will reportedly be signing a flurry of...
Lindsey Graham Spotted Rushing to White House With UV Light and Colonoscopy Hose
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The frantic, urgent exclamations could be heard throughout the Hill this morning.
"Oh sweet molasses titties, we need to make sure our...
