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Roger Ailes Denies Gretchen Carlson’s Allegations Because He Knows ‘No One Would Fuck Me’

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Ailes said when "someone looks at or listens to" him, it 's "readily apparent that [he is] as desirable a lover as a bucket of vomit covered in AIDS blood."

You’ll Never Guess Which Former President Just Endorsed Donald Trump!

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A famous former president has endorsed Donald Trump.

Ted Cruz: Trump shouldn’t be president because he’s ‘less subtly disgusting than me.’

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Ted Cruz wants you to pick the lesser of two cancers.

Marco Rubio Seen in Comedy Cellar, Woodshedding New Trump Material

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Marco Rubio tries on the yuks to get the votes.

Cruz, Rubio Both Claim to Have Finally ‘Out-Asshole’d Trump in Latest Debate

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Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz argue over who was a bigger a-hole than Donald Trump in the last debate.

Old Lady Politely Refuses Jeb Bush’s Help Across the Street

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No one wants or needs Jeb Bush's help these days.

Sad Libertarian to Investigate Why Candidate No One Voted For is Dropping Out of...

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Rand Paul is quitting and that has this libertarian very upset, and believing in a conspiracy against him.

Reince Priebus Fashions Donald Trump Analogue Out of Bag of Farts for GOP Debate

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Without Trump in tonight's debate, Reince Priebus was left to scramble for a solution.

Terrified Reince Priebus Finally Realizes No GOP Candidate is as Electable as Mitt Romney

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Sources say Reince Priebus is finally realizing his entire candidate pool makes his party look terrible, but what can be done about it now?