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TIME Promises Trump They’ll Name Him “Obnoxious, Petty, Self-Aggrandizing Cunt of the Year” in...
This morning, the world's most most powerful petty and jealous man in the free world used the enormous weight of his office, the highest...
Trump: “The IG Report Concludes I Should Be Able To Round-Up and Execute Democrats...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump was spotted this morning pacing around the driveway of the White House. He shouted to reporters that he was...
Trump: “Oh Darn! I Was Just About to Testify Under Oath and Release All...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump paced on the White House lawn and driveway this morning, awaiting a helicopter ride to a donut shop...
“Why Nepotism Is Wrong Unless You Also Want to Bang That Child” by President...
The following is an open letter to the American people written by President Donald J. Trump and released by the White House today. Mr....
Country’s Largest Turd Seeks Nationwide Toilet Investigation
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The biggest, smelliest, and dumbest fecal-human hybrid in the country wants the FBI, CIA, and local police organizations throughout America to...
Jordan Wants Hunter Biden to Testify About Hillary’s Benghazi Connection to Trump’s Ukraine Call
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Trump's Rectum) called on his fellow Republicans in the Senate to demand former Vice President Joe Biden's...
Craven, Gold Digging, Racist Birther Vehemently Defends Meal Ticket Her Husband Barely Acknowledges
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A craven, cynical, gold digging, racist birther took to Twitter yesterday to forcefully defend her meal ticket from a harmless pun,...
Hillary Clinton Offers To Represent President Trump In His Impeachment Trial
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State, and winner of the 2016 presidential election if presidential elections were run like literally every...
Obama Offers to Print Trump’s Articles of Impeachment on His Birth Certificate
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former President Barack H. Obama (D-Kenya) has reached out to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and offered to let her...
Racist, Lying Conman With Tiny Hands, Mushroom Penis, and Bad Spray Tan Who Fantasizes...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- President Trump just doesn't understand why anyone would ever laugh at his expense, according to sources close to the...
