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First Lady Ivanka Trump Signs Publishing Deal for Next Book “Riding Your Dad to...
Ivanka Trump is totally a great author, and she doesn't just get book deals because of who her famous, orange-skinned racist father is.
FDA Warns of Newly Discovered Hydroxychloroquine Side-Effect: Permanent Butthole Mouth
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though it's unclear whether it's true or not, this week President Donald J. Trump announced that he is currently taking hydroxychloroquine,...
Paramount Sues Space Force for Trademark Infringement
HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Paramount Studios has filed a lawsuit against the Space Force, alleging that their logo is a "blatant and comically obvious, lazy...
Trump Says “Obamagate” Used to Be Called ‘Being Black’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- What, exactly, is "Obamagate?"
To be sure, it's something that King President Emperor Donald Trump is demanding the media pay attention to....
Eric Trump Urges His Dad to Shut the Obamagate, Obamadoor, and Obamawindows
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the past couple of days, Americans have begun to hear one phrase over and over from not only their commander...
President Worries Never-Trumpers Are Dying of COVID-19 to Make Him ‘Look Bad’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the United States has suffered 83, 115 fatalities as a result of complications from COVID-19 infections....
Trump Promises to Attach Obamagate Evidence to Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is extremely concerned and hyper-focused on what is perhaps the most pressing and urgent matter facing every American...
Whiny Bitch Throws Toys Out of Crib, Storms Out of Presser
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Americans witnessed a sight they'd never seen in the 244 year history of the nation when a 73 year old,...
Putin Gives Trump Permission to Rehire Michael Flynn
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Depending on whether the federal judge in his criminal case allows the Department of Justice to drop the charges against retired...
Coronavirus Worries About Its Exposure to Stephen Miller
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the country wakes up and reads more and more reports of COVID-19 infections in the Trump administration, the virus itself...
