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Twitter to Start Putting “Emotionally Fragile Idiot” Label on Trump Tweets
SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Yesterday, for the first time ever, Twitter applied real-time fact checks to tweets created and sent by the most...
Twitter Won’t Pull Down Trump’s Tweets About Fucking Jack Dorsey’s Mom
SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Twitter has officially declined to pull down tweets sent on their platform my President Donald J. Trump, despite them...
Poll: Majority of Americans Wish Trump’s Mom Had Been Pro-Choice
As the election draws closer, there's little doubt that President Donald Trump believes he's reliant in large part on the votes of conservative evangelical...
Ford CEO: Trump Wore Angry, Spray-Tanned, Vagina Necked, Racist Orangutan Mask on Factory Floor
YPSILANTI, MICHIGAN -- Jim Hackett, CEO of the Ford Motor Company, told reporters today during his visit to the Ford plant in Ypsilanti yesterday,...
Ratcliffe Confirmed as Director of National Unintelligence
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just hours ago, Congressman John Ratcliffe of Texas received the most number of "no" votes of anyone nominated for the job,...
Biden Commits to Unveiling Trump Presidential Portrait in Nearby Landfill
Former Vice President Joe Biden announced today that if he wins the election this fall, he will "put petty partisan politics aside" and participate...
Trump On Why He Votes By Mail But Doesn’t Want Anyone Else To: “It’s...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Goodly King Emperor Donald J. Trump casts his royal ballot in Florida by mail, but that does not mean average American...
Eric Trump Says Mail-In Ballots ‘Unfairly Silence’ Women Voters
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Despite the fact that he is a mail-in voter himself, President Donald Trump has started a sort of crusade...
Trump Threatens To Withhold Funding From Any State That Lets Democrats Vote
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Elections in this country are run and officiated by state governments, not the federal government. That fact, however, may not be...
Obama Gives Biden Access Codes for FEMA Camps and Stockpile of Confiscated Guns
SECRET SHARIA DUNGEON, THE LITERAL HELL -- During their weekly ritualistic sacrifice of a pale-skinned virgin, former President Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya) gave his...
