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Trump Asks If Anyone’s Thought to Cure Cancer By Not Screening for Cancer
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's not really a secret that President Donald Trump's administration is doing everything it can to downplay the number of Americans...
Trump Wants Research Into Whether AIDS Vaccine Also Cures Windmill Cancer
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While the world is still celebrating his announcement of an AIDS vaccine earlier today at an executive order signing ceremony, President...
Trump Bans Ramps, Gentle Declines, Hills, and Slopes
President Donald trump has officially decreed that the United States of America will "no longer have any purple mountains majesty or even greenish little hills."
Tucker Carlson Adds Two Ks to First Name
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Tucker Carlson is no stranger to controversy, to put it lightly. His show isn't even new...
Trump Orders Dave Chappelle Arrested for Slaying Candace Owens
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told reporters this morning that he has directed Attorney General William Barr to file criminal charges against comedy...
Trump to Rename Military Bases After Hitler, Mussolini, and Hirohito
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Protests over the killing of George Floyd, an unarmed black suspect who died while a Minneapolis police officer knelt on his...
Big Tech Censorship? Pictures of Trump’s Neck Getting Removed from Facebook
SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Representatives from the two largest social media platforms in the world have issued separate statements of apology to the...
CEO of Antifa, Inc. Admits Buffalo Franchise Has Been Recruiting From Nursing Homes
SOROS HQ, LITERAL AND ACTUAL HELL -- In a stunning and completely unforeseen development, Bob Antifa, Chairman and CEO of Antifa, Inc., has issued...
Proposed Amendment Would Replace All Other Amendments With Second Amendment
Weighed down by accusations that the pushback against Black Lives Matter protesters constitutes an attack on First Amendment rights, and in the wake of...
George Floyd Looks Down From Heaven on May Jobs Report and Still Wishes Four...
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- While his country is still reeling from the COVID-19 outbreak, and as civil unrest is still being witnessed in...
