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5 Christmas Gifts That Will Help The Special Cultist In Your Life Process Losing...
Christmas is on the way, and the waterfowl are beginning to put on extra weight. With the holiday season upon us, even in the...
Report: More Than 70 Million Americans Voted to Steal the Election from Donald Trump
In a new development, analysis of the exit polling data from yesterday's historic contest between former Vice President Joe Biden and President Donald Trump...
Smoky-Eyed Lying Fuckstick Defends Former Lying Fuckstick Boss in Two ABC Interviews
FUGLY HEIGHTS, ARKANSAS -- In under 70 days, the general public will have their first chance to choose who will lead the country in...
Trump Claims Support of the Silent But Deadly Majority
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It might be hard for Americans to believe, but President Donald Trump wasn't the the first president to use the phrase...
Ivanka Had The Most Classy and Elegant Photos Taken For Father’s Day
WASHINGTON. D.C. -- Pretty Much First Lady Ivanka Trump reportedly had a series of classy, elegant boudoir photos taken as a gift for Father's...
Trump Signs Executive Order Demanding Facebook and Twitter Make Him Look Attractive and Competent
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump proved his small-government, traditionally conservative values today when he signed an executive order demanding that private companies that...
President Trump Worried Extended Coronavirus Lockdowns Might Cause Burrito Covering Shortages
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's no big secret on the Hill that the president enjoys his now daily coronavirus task force press briefings. Recently removed...
Trump to Give Robert E. Lee Medal of Freedom
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Hours after heaping praise on Confederate General Robert E. Lee, President Donald Trump said he'd be issuing a posthumous Presidential Medal...
Trump Worried Too Many Solar Panels Means Humans Might ‘Suck Up All the Sunlight’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Presdident Donald Trump today told reporters that "one bigly reason" he supports the push for the return to coal as opposed...
Trump Explains Yovanovitch Tape: He Meant “Take Her Out” for Hamberders and Covfefe
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has yet another potential scandal brewing involving former Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch.
In a report first published by ABC...
