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Pat Robertson Wonders If Hurricane Harvey Caused By Awkward Boner During “Magic Mike” Viewing

The 700 Club's patriarch, Pat Robertson, is afraid that a momentary lack of control over his groin reactions brought on Hurricane Harvey.

To Remind Scott Baio That Cancer Exists, God Renames It “Scott Baio”

God and Jesus aren't really big fans of Scott Baio after the actor made some rather insensitive comments about a former co-star's death.

God To Pat Robertson: “Fuck Donald Trump And Also Fuck You, Pharisee Bitch!”

God has a special message for one of his employees, televangelist Pat Robertson. The message is...not so nice, really.

God: I Redirected LA Flood To Tony Perkins’ Home Because I’m A ‘Big Lover Of Irony’

Tony Perkins home was destroyed by flooding because God loves irony.

God Issues Apology For Flooding Louisiana While Country Distracted By ‘Big Orange Moron’

God sure is sorry about all the water in Louisiana right now.

God Issues New Commandment: ‘Thou Shalt Not Be Shitty to LGBT People In My Name’

God's got a new commandment for his peeps, ALL of them.

GoFundMe Set Up For Daleiden’s, Fiorina’s Sleeping Pills

After the Planned Parenthood shooting, a crowd funding effort has begun to help Carly Fiorina and David Daleiden sleep at night.

Heaven to Close Gates and Turn Away Xenophobic Americans

God and his son Jesus are not happy about some Americans' response to the Syrian refugee crisis.

Religious Zealot Explains Why She Believes Clearly Doctored Videos About Planned Parenthood

One woman explains why forensic evidence debunking the Planned Parenthood videos doesn't mean "two crusted rat craps" to her.

God to American Gun Nuts: You’re To Blame For WDBJ Shooting

God reacts to the WDBJ shooting.

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