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Trump Says Access Hollywood Tape Was Planted By Ben Gozzi To Discredit Roy Moore

"It's the only theory that makes any sense, really."

Trump to Use Obamacare Subsidies to Pay for His Trips to Mar-A-Lago During the Winter

"In times of great need, sometimes we all have to sacrifice. And by 'we all' I of course mean the plebs."

Trump Orders All Removed Confederate Monuments Replaced With Statues of Vladimir Putin

President Trump has ordered that any statues depicting figures from the Confederate effort in the Civil War be replaced immediately.

Trump On Charlottesville Attacker: ‘If I Had Another Racist Son, He’d Look Like James Fields’

James Fields, alleged assailant in the Charlottesville car attack that left one woman dead and several others injured, reminds Trump of his sons.

Trump Explains Secret Meeting With Putin Was ‘Just a Meet Cute’

Nothing nefarious was discussed during Putin and Trump's secret meeting; it was just a random meeting of two people destined to be together.

President Trump Lets First Lady Rest Her Finger on Big Red Button While He Takes a Leak

President Trump was in need of a bathroom break, so he asked his First Lady to cover for him while he was in the little handed boys room.

Putin Disappointed Trump Doesn’t Look Like His Online Dating Pic

When Putin Met Trump...he wasn't all that happy with what he saw. Can't say we blame him.

Ivanka Trump to Sing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” to Her Daddy at Party

On his 71st birthday, President Trump will have his daughter Ivanka serenade him with a traditional birthday song.

Sean Hannity Accuses George Soros Of Inventing Class and Dignity So We Will Think He Has None

Sean Hannity is a classless, conspiracy peddling douchebag with no dignity. But did George Soros have a hand in it? Sean thinks so. Because Sean is stupid.

Trump Demands Congress Probe Link Between Clinton, Obama, JFK, Loch Ness Monster, and Miley Cyrus

Donald Trump doesn't just want the Russia/Clinton uranium conspiracy investigated by Congress, he has more tinfoil transmissions to share.

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