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President Promises TrumpCare Will ‘Absolutely Cover Non-Existing Conditions’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump appears to be already jockeying for position in the 2020 presidential election season. Over the last few weeks,...

Trump Orders Brad Pitt Sent to Gitmo for ‘Treasonous’ Oscars Speech

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has issued an official order to the justice department, demanding that Attorney General William Barr indict actor...

Devin Nunes Assures Trump He Won’t Stop Sucking Him Off Even Though Impeachment Trial...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources are reporting that late last night, Congressman Devin Nunes delivered via Bovine Express -- a service that courriers mail via...

Racist Old Man: “That Other Racist Old Man Isn’t Really That Racist”

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A rich, racist old man on a cable news television show recently made quite a few heads scratch when he defended the record of...

Permanently Impeached Fat Fuck Sucks Own Dick, Rambles, Whines About Constitution for Room Full...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A sweaty, rambling, permanently impeached fat fuck stood in a room in the White House and proceeded to suck his own...

Country’s Largest Turd Seeks Nationwide Toilet Investigation

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The biggest, smelliest, and dumbest fecal-human hybrid in the country wants the FBI, CIA, and local police organizations throughout America to...

Meadows: “How Can You Impeach Trump When Obama Was Black, a Democrat, and President...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Mark Meadows is part of the Freedom Caucus in the House of Representatives, making him one of the most staunchly...

Obama Offers to Print Trump’s Articles of Impeachment on His Birth Certificate

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former President Barack H. Obama (D-Kenya) has reached out to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and offered to let her...

Meadows: “How Can You Impeach Trump When Obama Was Black, a Democrat, and President...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Mark Meadows is part of the Freedom Caucus in the House of Representatives, making him one of the most staunchly...

Trump Orders the Execution of All Thanksgiving Turkeys Pardoned By Obama

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The first thing President Donald Trump did this morning, after he spent his usual, scheduled, five hours of "executive time" in...