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Oh My God, I Just Shit My Pants and Now They Think Biden Stole...
If there's one thing in my life that I just don't have time for, it's any discussions of "stolen elections." Now, I should say...
Sha’Carri Richardson Suspended After Testing Positive for Snack Enhancing Drug
Olympic sprinter Sha'Carri Richardson will miss her signature 100-meter dash event at the 2021 Summer Olympics in Tokyo, now that she's been suspended. Ms....
What Does It Mean If My Diarrhea Looks and Sounds Like Marjorie Taylor Greene?
I need someone who is either a medical doctor, or at the very least an expert in diarrhea, to contact me as soon as...
Daenerys Targaryen Defends Israel’s Retaliation Against Palestinians
Daenerys Targaryen - Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Mother of Dragons, The Unburnt, Breaker of Chains, Queen of the Andals,...
For the Sake of Bipartisanship, Biden Offers to Call Cruz’s Wife Ugly
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden ran on a message of uniting the country. After eight years of President Barack Obama's administration, the Republican...
Ted Cruz: “Maybe We Deserved to Be Insurrected.”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Ted Cruz (R-MAGAstan) played a key role in hyping up the Big Lie told by the former president of the...
Al Franken Offers to Takeover Marjorie Taylor Greene’s House Seat
ESSENEL, MINNESOTA -- Former Senator Al Franken does not currently live in Georgia, he's offered to move to Marjorie Taylor Greene's district so that...
Closest McDonald’s Franchise to the White House Files Bankruptcy
CAPITOL HILL -- McDonald's general manager, Richard Reid, says with the former president leaving the White House, the restaurants future looks bleak.
"He was our...
Matt Gaetz Blames Antifa for His Inability to Show Up To Work Sober
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A visually intoxicated Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Trump's Taint) told reporters today that he "mostly blames Antifa" for the attack carried out...
4 Contests of Skill, Intellect, or Athleticism That Were Also Rigged Against Donald Trump
Everyone knows that Donald Trump won the 2020 presidential election, that is if you throw out all the urban votes, only count "certain" votes,...
