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Trump Asks Nuclear Warhead To Be His Secretary Of Defense

Trump taps someone truly unique for SecDec.

A Sneak Peak At Trump’s “Ideological Certification” Test

A quick preview of Trump's "Ideological Certification" tests.

Trump Advisers Busy In ‘Deep Debate Prep,’ Pumping Donald’s Head Full Of Farts

Advisers are busy getting Trump ready for the debates.

POLL: Most Sanders Fans Want ‘Right Combination of Finger Wagging and Insults’ to Switch to Hillary

Sanders supporters were polled recently.

Anne Graham Lotz: God Gives Us Diarrhea Because We ‘Let Trans People Poop in Comfort’

The daughter of Billy Graham has some interesting thoughts on freedom.

Man Invents Device to Translate Farts and Donald Trump Speeches

If you have a hard time understanding Donald Trump, one man has a solution for you.

Marco Rubio Stops by WalMart on the Way Home for Job Application

Marco Rubio is going to need a new job after this November.

New Hampshire Republican Torn Between Two A-Holes

He's just not sure who to vote for in the New Hampshire primary.

Marco Rubio: Syrian Refugees Can Wear Special Patches to ‘Help Spot Them in a Crowd Better’

Does Marco Rubio think asking Syrian refugees to wear special patches will help national security?

Carson: I May Not Be the First Black President, But I’ll Be the First Openly Stupid One

Ben Carson is stupid, and he doesn't care who knows it.
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