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Pence Just Realized Sucking Trump Off So Much Cost Him Valuable Talking Time During Debate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A pink-eyed, exasperated Vice President High Priest Mike Pence was so upset by what he just figured out that he cried...

Report: Coronavirus Devastated, Despondent, and Suicidal

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald Trump has promised the American people several times in the last eight months he would defeat the coronavirus. Now, hours...

Trump: “Harris and Biden Are Dangerous Marxist Commies in Wall Street’s Back Pocket!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Lashing out at the Democratic Party's presidential ticket this morning, President Donald Trump labeled former Vice President Joe Biden and his...

Backside of Mount Rushmore Being Prepared for New Trump Bust

To the victors go the spoils, and Mount Rushmore is about to get spoiled, President Donald Trump style.

Barr Says Presidents Can Ignore Election Results They Don’t Agree With

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr, in an interview with Slimebag Fascist Enabling Toady Fucksticks Quarterly, intimated that he believes his operating principle of "unitary...

Trump Promises Entire Capital Will Be Converted To Renewable White Power

President-Elect Trump's plan to tackle climate change includes a return to using renewable white power in the nation's capital.

Is Your Rascal Scooter Fully Charged In Preparation for a Second Civil War?

The President of the United States is currently the subject of an active impeachment inquiry. As most Americans know, however, the United States isn't...

Trump Pledges 10,000 Flotation Devices to ‘Help the Mexicans Survive’ Cinco de Mayo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A perhaps confused President Trump began his day this morning by making what he later told aides he felt was a...

New Poll: 75% of Americans Hope Trump and Kim Jong-un Share a Cardiologist

The results of a newly conducted and released poll seem to indicate that nearly eight out of every ten Americans are hoping that North...

Whiny Bitch Says He’d Suck Less at COVID-19 Response If Media Wasn’t So Mean To His Baby Ass

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A big, fat, whiny, entitled, spoiled bitch stood in the White House press briefing room and insisted to reporters yesterday that...

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