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Jesus Christ: “I Said ‘Turn The Other Cheek,’ Not ‘Turn The Other Chamber’!”

Jesus Christ sounds off on the new gun range added to an Alabama church.

Jesus Christ: ‘It’s Cute’ When Conservative, Christian Americans Think Bernie’s Too Socialist

Jesus Christ: "They still have the balls to say they follow my teachings? Pfffft."

Jesus Christ: ‘Bachmann Is Right, I’m Coming Again…For a Sandwich’

Jesus Christ says Michele Bachmann is right about him coming back to Earth, but wrong about the reason why.

Jesus Christ Has ‘Had It Up to Here’ With People Using His Name to Hurt LGBT People

Jesus Christ is really getting tired of the Religious Right's shenanigans.

Kayleigh McEnany’s Cross Bursts Into Flames

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There was a brief scare during White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany's briefing earlier today when the crucifix she often wears...

Americans Flood Heaven’s Switchboards Asking If Trump Can Take George HW Bush’s Spot

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Larry "God" Schumway and his son, Jesus Hubert Christ held a holy press conference today from the corporate headquarters...

God to Americans: “Your Kids Are Making It Here Faster Than Your Thoughts And Prayers”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning, Larry "God" Schumway held a press conference in front of the Pearly Gates, and when asked by...

God Tells Pat Robertson: No One Respects Trump ‘So Shut Up You Doddering Douche’

Televangelist Pat Robertson believes God punished America for disrespecting Trump by allowing the Las Vegas shooting to happen. God disagrees.

Pat Robertson Wonders If Hurricane Harvey Caused By Awkward Boner During “Magic Mike” Viewing

The 700 Club's patriarch, Pat Robertson, is afraid that a momentary lack of control over his groin reactions brought on Hurricane Harvey.

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