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DeVos Supports ICE Raids Because Her Drink Is Getting Warm
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Education Secretary Betsy DeVos told reporters today that she "completely and totally supports" a reportedly upcoming raid on ten American cities...
Tennessee Considering Law Banning Abortion if Mother’s Mother Was Ever Pregnant
FORT CHINGAR PRIMA, TENNESSEE -- The Tennessee state legislature has joined Georgia, Ohio, Missouri, and Alabama and passed an extremely restrictive abortion restriction through...
GA Governor Open to Abortion Exception If Fetus Future Democrat
ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Georgia Governor Brian Kemp signed a controversial anti-abortion bill into law earlier this week. The new law bans abortions in the...
Trump Asks Ben Carson if He’s ‘Friends With’ the Black Hole in NASA’S Picture
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, NASA released the very first images of a black hole ever. Reaction to the photo was largely positive, though Fox...
Leaked: Former White House Communication Director Caught With His Hand In A Mooch
Air Force One -- A two-year old leaked White House pool photograph snapped a controversial picture of staffers on a flight to a campaign-style...
Trump Wants Statue of Liberty Torch Outfitted With Tear Gas Launcher
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Leading up to the 2018 mid-term election -- one that saw his party lose control of the House of Representatives in...
Eagles Will Join Obama For Backyard BBQ
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA -- President Donald Trump has officially disinvited the Philadelphia Eagles football team from a visit to the White House, and the team...
Town Racist Blames Ambien Script Running Out For Brief Bout Of Tolerance
BEDFORD FOREST, WEST VIRGINIA -- Ed Foy would never, ever have done it if he hadn't run out of Ambien, his sleep aid prescription,...
George W. Disappointed Barbara Bush Couldn’t Even Find Iraq’s WMDs In The Afterlife
THE AFTERLIFE -- Yesterday, former First Lady Barbara Bush passed away at the age of 92.
Mrs. Bush was one of only two women in...
Trump Tells Joint Chiefs To Promote Him From Cadet To Major General Bone Spurs
And they better do it bigly quick!
