Fauci Confirms Rand Paul is a ‘Flaming Douchebag With Absolutely Shitty Hair,’ Medically Speaking

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Medically speaking, Senator Rand Paul (R-Ayn Rand’s Overrated, Overwrought Bootyhole) is ...

Fox News Medical Non-Experts Not Sure Americans Should Be Listening to Dr. Fauci Anymore

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Three of Fox News’ least-learned and un-certified medical non-experts ...

Whiny Bitch Throws Toys Out of Crib, Storms Out of Presser

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, Americans witnessed a sight they’d never seen in the 244 ...

Putin Gives Trump Permission to Rehire Michael Flynn

MOSCOW, RUSSIA — Depending on whether the federal judge in his criminal case allows ...

Doctors Discover Fatal Rectal Cancer in Department of Justice

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Doctors in the nation’s capital discovered what they’re calling the “most ...

Lahren: “All Lives Matter Except When You Need to Die for The Economy”

VAPID ATTENTION WHORE, CALIFORNIA — Fox News contributing racist Tabitha Lahren said during a ...