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Ted Cruz/Mitch McConnell Announce Plan to ‘F**k It Out’

Ted Cruz and Mitch McConnell may not like each other, but will that doesn't mean they can't bury the hatchet in a very sexy way.

News Alarm: Mitch McConnell To Create New ‘Titty Committe’ With Female Chair

Will Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell be able to get his new mammary-related committee off the ground?

5 Things John Boehner and Mitch McConnell Will Do After They Shut Down the Government (VIDEO)

We took a look at a few of the things Mitch McConnell and Johnny Boehner will do once they shut it all down...again.

5 Things Mitch McConnell Will Do His First Day as Senate Majority Leader (VIDEO)

If ol' Mitch becomes the Majority Leader in 2015, what will his first day be like? Watch and find out!

Georgia Runoff Defeats Break Ancient Spell and McConnell’s Dick Turns Back Into Lump of Coal

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It happened with a sort of "cracking" sound, witnesses say. Then, as the crack subsided, a puff of black smoke emitted...

Biden Offers to Let Obama Have First SCOTUS Pick as a “McConnell Mulligan”

Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee and former Vice President Joe Biden has, by all accounts, quite a strong relationship with his former boss. The bond...

McConnell: “American Justice is a Fair Trial Where the Jury is Corrupt, Evidence is Hidden, and Witnesses Can’t Testify”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though the impeachment process is laid out clearly in the United States Constitution, the when, where, why, and how of it...

“I’m Tired of These Baseless Smears on My Patriotism” McConnell Says Drenched in Putin’s Jizz

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A cum soaked Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-The Kremlin) told the American people he's "sick and tired" of what he...

McConnell Confident Trump Can Fit It All In There

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a hastily convened press conference this afternoon, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell forcefully insisted that the entirety of whatever it...

Pelosi Offers McConnell Voter ID Laws for Voter IQ Laws

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For years, the Republican Party has been behind a push to institute voter ID laws in as many states as they...

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